It doesn't help to know that we were all jerks in high school. When I see you enter the room I remember only one thing: Here is someone to whom I was unkind. At dinner I have the chance to say so. You have the generosity to say I was aloof.
You have a niece and a nephew. You have a boyfriend. You and your dad, 85, will travel to London and Paris this fall.
You ask about my life. I can't talk about all the years, but I can telegraph something about the years since Evan was born, the family Joy and I have made with him, my writing life.
When I get ready to leave, I say wholeheartedly, "Our meeting is all I could have wanted from these hours." Me too, you say. We put our arms around each other, once, then again.
Jane, my teacher, says she borrows from Darlene Cohen when she says, "Choose connection over opinion." Don't you love that? Don't you just? Choose Ellen over my idea of Ellen. Choose seeing the sunset over some idea of sunset, or Anakin over some idea of dog. And life over some idea of life.
love this too. so much lifts when i am able to do that.
ReplyDeleteMy version of this is to tell myself, "Kill that thought" as gratuitous and unkind thoughts begin to rumble in my wicked head. Thank you (and your teacher) for reinforcing the importance of connection over opinion.
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